My birthday was last week, and with that came a new year of life. A new year to accomplish new things, set new goals –to make 21 a year I will always remember. I at least want to feel as though I worked further toward bettering myself and reaching my goals this year, even if I’m not quite certain what my goals are at this point in my life. I might as well work toward becoming a better person so when it does come time for me to dedicate myself to whatever passion I discover, I can dedicate my best self to it.
I spent some time doing a yoga practice and meditation before I discovered what my word for this year is going to be. Chris got me a book called Meditations from the Mat by Rolf Gates for my birthday. You read through it a day at a time and it gives you some guidance for your home practice –it sets an intention. What is life without intention? I’m struggling with that right now as I am transitioning into being a stay at home mom when I previously thought I would be well on my way to a writing career by now. I have since realized that writing may not be exactly what I want to do with my life, at least not solely, but I’m not certain what I do want to do.
For now, I’m working on being happy with where I am and enjoying all of this time I get to spend with my daughter. I know that I will cherish these memories one day. I sat in a meditation and thought a lot about what kind of person I want to be. I thought a lot of love. I thought how I want to be much more positive in everything that I do. There are a lot of changes coming up in the next year: this current transition then moving to Germany in February. While I want to see the good in everything, love didn’t seem like the word for the year. It didn’t feel like the quality I needed to work on the most.
Gratitude crossed my mind because I know that there is a lot that I take for granted most of the time. Still, that didn’t feel right. Then I was sitting there working on visualizing what I want in this life, and it came to me: bliss. Not bliss as in everything is wonderful all the time, but bliss as in finding the good in everything. There are a lot of things that aren’t going to be quite so blissful that come up this year (and every year of life). I’m not going to like living in a hotel all the time. I’m not going to like waiting on housing to give us a house once we get to Germany. I’m not going to enjoy all the parts of figuring out life in another country. Some days I’m going to wish I still had a job instead of being a stay at home mom. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t wonderful parts of all of that. Hotels are easier to clean, and you have a housekeeping service. Waiting for a house may lead to the best possible one. Living in another country is an amazing opportunity many people save for years to be able to have –my move is paid for. Being a stay at home mom means I get to be here for all of the little moments with my girl. She’s learning to count on me and will grow up knowing I’ll always be here, something that is so important to me as a mother.
There are wonderful parts of everything, even when at the moment you look around you and think, “this really sucks.” It might suck. It might be bad. But I’m challenging myself to look for all of the blissful parts that come. It won’t always be easy, but I think it will be worth it.
After I decided this, I came across this quote: “Bliss is not a feeling, but a state of being. In a state of bliss, everything is loved.” –Deepak Chopra
That’s exactly what I was thinking when the word came to me. That there are things to love in all things.
Having this intention helps, I think. Not just this intention, but any intention. Even on days like today, where we are stuck inside this room because the roads might be flooded from all of this ridiculous rain, I have something to work on, to work toward. What will bring us bliss? We may not get to go exploring and adventuring like we love to do most days, but we can snuggle and read stories and do yoga together. We can find bliss in the storm.