I guess I can’t call her “baby” goose anymore, now that she is just hours away from turning two years old.
It’s hard to believe that two years ago I was in the height of labor, waiting anxiously to meet my sweet girl.
Everyone told me motherhood changes you. Everyone told me I would never be the same again, that I would never sleep again (not that I did anyways), that I would be different. While the statements were mildly annoying and definitely cliche, they rang true.
I am not who I was two years ago. Being your mother, sweet Sophie Elizabeth, has changed me in so many ways.
It has made me more stubborn. I am your mother, and I know what is best for you. God forbid anyone try to swoop in on mama bear’s territory. You are my baby, and I am your mom. No one can take that away.
It has taught me patience, sort of. I wish I remembered who told me they were so surprised to see how patient I was with you. It’s true, though. Patience has never been my strong suit. In fact, I am crowned queen of impatient land. Yet with you, all I want to do is slow time down. I want to make sure you enjoy every moment of your life you have to enjoy. I want to make sure that you don’t only get the short-tempered, fast-paced sides of me. I have my weak moments, but overall I want you to know that I am always here for you.
It has shown me what is really important in life. You, my little love, are always the priority. You come first. Over work, over friends, over potential relationships, over hobbies or anything. Sometimes that makes things difficult, the past few weeks haven’t been easy, but it is the right thing. Nothing will ever be more important to me than this little girl. Ever.
It has taught me to slow down. On hikes, in museums, even in walks across parking lots to the car, you are always finding something to look at and explore. A lot of times you are met with a frustrated, “Sophie! Move your body, we have to go!” Yet, despite my frustration, it is nice to see what you are interested in. I love when you point out the colors of all the cars and find cool rocks on our wooded paths. You have taught me to appreciate everything, no matter how small. Mostly, though, I just appreciate being able to watch you grow and explore.
It has taught me to be the best version of myself. You deserve it, little goose. You deserve the best version of me. You deserve a me who is strong and patient and self assured and independent and caring. I want you to grow up with an excellent example of a strong, capable woman. I never want you to doubt how much you can accomplish. I never want you to second guess yourself. I’m sure you will, but I never want it to be because of me. I want to know I have given you everything I have to give. Being your mother has taught me more about the woman I want to be, and I thank you for causing me to be more introspective and thoughtful with my words and actions.
Motherhood is just the craziest experience. Watching her grow the past two years has been wild. There is nothing I love more than watching her little brain work –than seeing those wheels turn in her little head as she figures out how something works.
We spent the afternoon at the art museum today, and she was just simply amazed with the art work. She would squeal and get excited about some, and others you could see didn’t captivate her in the same way.
She is becoming more and more opinionated every day. While that comes with its own frustrations, it is also so exciting to see her blossom into her own person. She is smart and strong and brave and resilient and creative and all around incredible.
The past two years have not been without their challenges but having this little girl has made everything worth it. She is truly the apple of my eye, my little side kick and my mini me. I couldn’t be prouder to be her mommy.
Happy second birthday, sweet girl. Thank you, for everything.